The struggle to stay positive when I have raging menstrual hormones is a giant task. That’s when being mindful of all my thoughts is really difficult. I would love to come home after my nine to five, and just plop my ass on the couch and be lazy, but I’m in charge of keeping people alive.
My husband, whose been off for the past three days, is free to do any task he desires. Granted, he has put up a few cabinets in the laundry room his three days off, so I’m sure he’s all tunkered out, since that was his one and only task.
When I’m fighting against hormones, and wrestling to put out every negative thought that I can, I find myself losing the battle and wanting to give up. “I’m not good enough”, and “I can’t do this”, stir up and cloud my vision. It’s easy to fall back into the same ole routines, and crawl back into my old safe life.
Yea, I know that one all too well. That’s the life where I’m still sitting behind that same wooden desk, looking at the same computer screen for the rest of my days. I’m not living my dreams. I’m not traveling the world with my family. I’m not putting money away for the kids to go to college, and I’m not writing my books.
Those are the things I think about when I lose my cool. Those are my whys. The reasons I can’t give up on myself again. It’s ok to have bad days. I just have to catch myself when I’m to about fall back into that same routine. That is the key when I’m struggling. I have to think about all those reasons to hang in there. I have to think about my whys.