I wake up this morning before the birds, and I’m feeling confused. I’m confused about what I’m doing, or supposed to be doing. Am I doing it right, or I am going in the right direction? I look up into the void that is around me, and talk to spirit guides that I’m not even sure are there right now, or if they are even listening. I’m asking them for guidance, and asking for help, and wondering if they are even there. Did they go on break, or maybe today is their day off? I’m not sure. One day I feel like I have it all figured out, and the next day, I’m just as confused as anyone else. The up’s and down’s of life, and success.
Taking risk and going for it is scary. It’s a leap of faith when you’re sending out all your thoughts into the world-wide web of billions of people, and not knowing if you have made any sense to anyone. It’s scary thinking that your all alone, and trying to take a stand, go for your dreams, and live a life of some sort of a meaning, and on your own terms.
I take a deep breath, I keep going, and I have faith that all will work out. My parachute will open one day, and when it does I will be ready. Faith, it’s a scary word to control freaks like me. Maybe that’s my lesson to learn. Maybe just maybe I have to lose control, and just go with the flow. I’m learning to let go, and have faith, but it is a hard lesson for me. The control freak in me wants to take the reins and say to my spirit guides “Fine take your break, I got this”, but my scared inner voice says, “Are you still there, please still be there”. Having faith in the unknown is hard, but we must keep going. Going for your dreams is not an easy task. We’ve all heard that before right? “If it were easy, everyone would be doing it”. Yea, Yea, I heard that too.
Patience is a virtue right? I’m asking because I wouldn’t know, I haven’t acquired it yet. Still working on it.
But that’s me, a work in progress. My spirit guides have their hands full with me. LOL! Anyone else feel this way, or am I the only one? I know ya’ll are out there somewhere.